


Honey And The Moon

by colocakes



Series: Heart A La Mode [3]
Category: Tegami Bachi | Letter Bee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Horror, M/M, spoilers?ish?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-22
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-07-16 14:28:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 15,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7271935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colocakes/pseuds/colocakes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We're made out of blood and rust, looking for someone to trust without a fight. I think that you came too soon, you're the honey and the moon that lights up my night." - Honey And The Moon, Redemptions Son.</p><p>In the never ending night of Amberground, something sinister is afoot. As Gauche attempts to complete a delivery, he finds himself coming face to face with a different kind of evil.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hello! This is the first chapter of a 15 chapter au. 

Supplementary information for this one, which i'll call the “bug” au time!

The world is virtually the same, except for the plot. No reverse, gauche isnt going to the capital and theres a major plot thing, but thats for later. 

Inspiration: reading about bugs! Pretty plain eh?  
Warnings: possible ooc, au, gore, violence, possible spoilers, “shota” in later chapters.  
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing!

Well, lets hope this first chapter isnt so bad then. 

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“haunted”

 

It didn’t take a genius to know that something inhuman was in this village. Gauche swallowed, ready to grab his gun. Next to him, Roda shuffled anxiously from paw to paw. It was a simple delivery, no need to be afraid. 

Outside of the twilight skies of Yusari, Yodaka was dark as pitch. These days, people were especially jumpy. Gauche couldn’t say he blamed them. As he walked through the empty looking town, he wondered if perhaps there was an attack here recently. They were becoming more and more frequent. 

Heading up the hill, the young man eyed the paper in his hand. He was to deliver a young boy it seemed, to the southern most edge of the continent. It shouldn’t take but a week at most, he reasoned as he searched for the address printed neatly on his form. 

However, despite his best efforts, Gauche found that the house in question didn’t seem to exist. Frowning, he paused in the street, itching his cheek. He spotted a passerby, a haggard looking man, and approached them with his most people friendly smile. Let no one say that, despite his all too fitting name, Gauche wasn’t a professional. 

“Excuse me, but would you happen to know where this address was...? I cant seem to find it.” he said, offering the man the paper.

The man's straw like mustache shuffled as he eyed the paper in discomfort. “Yeah. Yeah, I know where that is.”

“Could you give me directions?” 

Glancing at the young postal worker, the man looked like he had half a mind to walk on by. “If its Anne Seeing you're lookin' for, you best turn 'round. That place is no good.”

Blinking, Gauche glanced at Roda. Glancing back at the man, he pressed, “What do you mean?”

“That house is no good. The land its on is cursed.” 

Gauche was far from superstitious, but the way the man spoke drove a chill up his spine. While normally he'd have just smiled and pressed for directions, the last few months had seen many mysterious missing person cases. It was hard to feel particularly comfortable these days when someone warned him against a residence. 

Regardless, he mused, he had a gun and his Dingo. There was no need for superstitious paranoia. 

“I'll keep that in mind. But the directions, if you could...?”

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tada! Short is short.


	2. Chapter 2

Part two! Its continuing, a bit more substance this time. We finally meet lag!

 

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“black”

It certainly looked like a haunted house. Tall, two stories, rickety...Gauche half expected to see a crow or a skeleton poking from a gravestone. It didn’t help that it was positioned on a tall hill that loomed high above the town, far from any of the street lamps. It was dark and barren, a decrepit fence marking its borders that seemed to stretch from the darkness behind the steep cliff behind the house. 

Swallowing, he glanced at Roda. “It certainly has a view...” he joked, trying to relieve some of the discomfort he felt. 

Roda gave an unamused huff, trotting to stand beside him. A faint smile formed on his lips. “Right...I suppose that wasn’t very funny...”

The road terminated abruptly at the rickety old fence, no gate to prevent intruders. A flickering light warmed a few of the first floor windows, although it only served to make the gloomy house just that much more so. 

Still, Gauche was a grown adult. Houses weren’t cursed, he reasoned, kicking himself mentally. He was acting like Sylvette when she had been convinced there were monsters under her bed. As if to inspire courage, Roda trotted up the lonely walkway and waited patiently for her partner at the fence.

Laughing nervously, a bit ashamed of himself, the man followed after her. 

000 

Luckily, the occupants didn’t carry the same uncomfortable creepy vibe. Anne Seeing was a kind, gentle woman who'd ushered him in and offered him a cup of tea. He'd almost been pushed into a cozy armchair.

“You must be exhausted, its such a long way from Central.” she said, offering him a cup.

Gauche felt distinctly out of place in such a warmly decorated home. The hearth crackled with a cozy fire, lace doilies tastefully placed on some of the furniture. A few toys scattered the floor, probably from her child, he mused. It felt like a home, rather than the creepy outward appearance. 

Taking the cup, he attempted to salvage his professionalism. “Its all in a days work.”

There was a touch of pride in that, the woman noted. “Still, we don’t get many Bees so far out here.”

“Its not a well mapped area.” Gauche supplied. 

A patch of silence followed. The man sipped his tea, fidgeting with the delicate cup. Anne watched him, a strange gleam to her gaze. She smiled softly, tilting her head. “I know that its a place people speak badly of. I hope you don’t feel uncomfortable here.”

“No, of course not ma'am.” he said quickly. 

“The people have little love for us...I suppose its because we keep to ourselves so much.”

That didn’t seem cause for the quiet fear the man had from earlier. Still, it was hardly his place to concern himself about a village's gossip. “That’s unfortunate...”

Anne sipped her own cup of tea, gazing into it. “Yes. Its why I'd like to start over with my son. He deserves a home where he can actually live.”

Her son...”So your son is the delivery in question...?”

“Yes. He's a good boy, you shouldn’t have any trouble.”

Smiling faintly, Gauche wondered how the woman could afford to send a child over a week's trip away. “I see. If I could-”

“I'll fetch him for you.” she seemed to read his mind, standing gracefully from her chair and heading for a staircase just outside of the room. 

Gauche sunk back a bit into his chair. Glancing at Roda, he murmured, “This is pretty unusual.”

Roda flicked an ear, agreeing with a little huff. They didn’t wait long, before soft footfalls and loud sniffling met their ears. Following miserably after his mother, a boy who must have been twelve followed with a heavy suitcase. Like a life size doll, Gauche mused. 

Soft, downy white hair obscured part of the boy's chubby cheeked face. His nose was running as he clumsily scrubbed it with a black coat sleeve. The buttons grated against his nose, only causing more sniffles. His sepia eye, the one visible, was framed with doe-like eyelashes. 

So this was “Lag”. He seemed every bit the whiny child Gauche had expected, although he didn’t argue much as his mother soothed him and murmured into his ear. Whatever she had said, it seemed to do the job. 

Glancing at the man, the boy forced himself to offer a watery, nasal greeting. “I-I'm Lag...I hope we get along...”

Nodding, Gauche smiled awkwardly. “I'm Gauche. This is my Dingo, Roda.” 

Lag spared the silky white dog a glance. “I-Its good to meet you...”

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	3. Chapter 3

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“supernatural”

 

True to her word, Lag was more than easy to deal with. The boy was cooperative and didn’t kick up a fuss. At the rate they were going, Gauche estimated that they might make it to Cambel Litus in a week, tops. 

Yawning, the trio settled into their camp site. A day of walking was nothing for Gauche, but he was surprised how hearty Lag was. As Gauche attempted to pry open the cans of soup, he could hear Lag and Roda playing nearby. 

“Don’t play too close to the fire...” he warned. 

The boy paused, blinking, before wisely stepping away from the ring of stones. They continued this way as Gauche heated the cans, humming in thought. 

“I'm a bit surprised we haven’t seen any Gaichu around...” he mused aloud.

Lag paused, glancing at him. “Do you normally see a lot?”

“More than none at all.” Offering the can, the man glanced up. “But there have been reports of hybrids around here. So maybe that drove them away from their usual territories.”

Taking the can, Lag looked into it for a long moment. “Have there been that many reports...?”

Maybe it was just because the boy lived so far out of town, Gauche mused. “Yeah. A few around Rengus town.”

It wasn’t hard to understand the boy's unease. Hybrids were creatures that looked like humans, but were a strange form of Gaichu. The capital had been investigating them for years and even captured one once. 

Unlike Gaichu though, these creatures couldn’t survive without regular feedings. They were especially terrifying. With the reports, he'd have to keep an eye on his human letter. 

“Don’t worry.” the man said, sipping at his soup. “I'll keep us safe. There’s no need to be afraid.”

Lag laughed weakly. “I know...”

They quieted, as the boy tentatively sipped his own soup. The reaction was instantaneous as he covered his watering mouth. 

“G-Gross...”

“H-Hey...”

Roda whined mournfully, her own can barely touched. Between the two, Gauche felt a headache forming. “Listen, just eat! We have a long trip and this is all we have.”

The boy's expression darkened a bit. “Don’t yell, you're scaring Roda...”

Roda, sensing the stormy conversation, promptly flopped over the boy's lap. Traitor! Rubbing his forehead, the man sighed heavily. “Just eat...”

The two went silent again, though Gauche had half a mind to swat the boy when he saw him stir the can without eating it. No, he thought, if the boy was going to starve himself then that was his problem. He wasn’t a babysitter...

After a long moment, Lag spoke, quietly and a bit hard to hear. “What...What do you do to those creatures...?”

Pausing in his meal, the man glanced to the boy. “The hybrids...?”

A short nod. Sighing, Gauche tapped his can with the spoon in thought. “I've yet to encounter any. But the handbook states that we are to, without fail, execute them.”

The boy was silent, a bit spooked looking. “E-Execute...?”

“It sounds harsh, I know.” Gauche said, setting his can aside. “But they're no different than a Gaichu...if we don’t, we'll end up a meal instead.”

“I see...”

Sighing, the man took the still full can and set it aside. “Don’t dwell on it. Odds are, we wont see any. Get some sleep.”

Glancing up, Lag nodded and headed for his bag, tugging out a thick blanket. Neither spoke the rest of the night. 

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	4. Chapter 4

000000

 

“night”

 

It was hard, almost unbearable, to resist the pangs of hunger that racked his slight body. Leaving home, the safety of his hunting grounds, had been a harsh blow. Crippling. He couldn’t go on like this. A week was one thing but two...?

Swallowing, Lag felt a familiar something coil in his chest. The town was crawling with people, no one would suspect anything as long as he made it look like a human attack. 

He'd crept out of bed, soundlessly, and went to the door. 

0000000


	5. Chapter 5

0000000000

“mentalist”

“You should toss that child away, while you can.”

Pausing, Gauche glanced at the speaker. She was a tired, heavily made up woman who looked like she had been through one too many tragedy. Her dark eyes were watching the boy at his side as if he were a monster. 

Lag felt his heart quicken, swallowing. “Where did that come from??”

The woman ignored him, her dark eyed gaze already focused on Gauche. “All that will come of being near him, is chaos.”

The man blinked, confused. “I'm sorry, I don’t quite understand. But regardless, he's part of my job.” 

Lag glanced between the two, chewing his lip. Gauche gently tugged at his hand. He didn’t have time for old crystal ball scryers. I'm already behind schedule! He thought in dismay. 

Following his guardian, Lag cast one last glance at the hunched old woman. He felt a distinct sense of unease run through his slight frame. The woman watched him with the same expression as before, making a quick little prayer sign. Lag thought it was ironic.

Still, he was thankful that the woman hadn’t truly confronted him. As he settled into the motel room's bed, the boy let out a sigh of relief. Gauche had insisted on taking shelter after the last town's recent Gaichu attack. The creatures were roaming outside of their territories, so he hadn’t felt particularly safe sleeping in the open. After sleeping so long on the cold ground, Lag was delighted to sleep in a warm bed. 

Sighing, the man tugged off his boots, sitting next to the boy. Lag felt his heart jump, swallowing. Glancing over his shoulder, the man asked, “Is everything alright?”

Lag nodded, chewing his lip. “Y-Yeah...”

Deciding against asking too many questions, the man yawned and laid down heavily on the flimsy old mattress. The ceiling was cracked and it smelled strongly of cleaning fluid, but a bed was a bed. Lag rolled to his side, facing the wall. Sharing a bed was decidedly uncomfortable. Lag's entire body buzzed near him. 

Roda stretched and slept neatly over the over stuffed armchair in the corner. It was quiet in short time. Lag felt hyper aware, hunger keeping him awake. He'd always had trouble fighting off the aches in his chest. Still, the other night had clearly not gone unnoticed. 

Lag felt relief bubble in his chest. Thank the Empress that no one trusted crazy old women. They wouldn’t suspect him. Still...it was too close. He couldn’t slip up again. 

I'll just have to wait until we arrive at Cambel Litus, he thought. 

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	6. Chapter 6

Oh man the drama really starts...oh dear

warning: violence!  
Disclaimer: I own nothing

onwards!

000000

 

“pebble”

 

They say, when a pebble is dropped into water, the resulting waves spread far far from the center. Gauche supposed, that he should have seen the impacts his decision would have. From the start, all the evidence was there, all the proof. 

He looked between the boy he was delivering and the body that was still convulsing on the ground. The life was ebbing away, although he was fairly certain all the heart inside was already gone. It was hard not to focus on the mess of tattered skin and missing bits of flesh.

Gauche couldn’t bring himself to look at Lag. The boy's face was covered in gore and what looked like sticky ropes of...something. He knew what it was, but his mind was too erratic to summon the name. 

The boy stared at him, mouth still open a bit. His lip quivered. “G-Gauche I...” 

But he stopped abruptly. There wasn’t much to say. What could he say? How could he explain away the truth that the man had seen? His eye welled with fat tears. Terror wracked his slight form. 

He didn’t want to die. 

Lag bolted. 

Gauche held up a hand, as if to stop him. “Lag!”

The boy rounded a corner, but didn’t look back. Gauche stood rooted to the spot. Roda took off after Lag, but he found his legs wouldn’t budge. 

What would he do if he chased him? The employee handbook, in no uncertain terms, said that these hybrid children were to be executed. Gauche had yet to actually encounter these humanoid Gaichu before, but to him, Lag wasn’t some monster. He was a person, if not a letter right this moment. 

Swallowing, the man forced himself to chase after the boy. He'd decide what to do when he caught up to him. 

00000000


	7. Chapter 7

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“yelling”

 

Chaos truly did follow him. From his exodus from Akatsuki to his mother's attempts to have him delivered to his aunt, nothing good had come of him. Even now, he had ruined everything. His mother had spent her lifes savings on him, Gauche had risked his life during the journey.

And now he was alone. Hiccuping, Lag held himself as he ran. The crowds of people flew by, a blur of color and a collective cacophony. Someone, in the din, called that there was a body in the alley. Another shouted that a Bee was chasing a monster.

Lag felt like he might throw up all the heart he'd just eaten. Gauche was chasing him? He...he was really...

Suddenly, he was airborne. It took a moment for the pain to sear through his stomach and chin as he collided with the rough cobbled road hard. Wheezing, Lag attempted to rise, dazed. Something, it felt like a foot, pressed him down hard. 

“We've got it! Hold it down!”

“Careful, it could eat you!”

Quivering, the boy felt blessedly numb. Something had gone through his chest. Fingers shaking, he felt the sticky warmth of blood spread over his loose night shirt. The cotton became heavy, pulling him closer to the cold stone that seemed to suck away his life greedily. 

Tears began to track down his cheeks. This was everything his mother had warned him about. Breathing was becoming difficult. 

“Let go of him!”

The weight on his back was taken away abruptly. There were shouts of indignation but Lag could barely understand them. The only voice that cleared the fog over his mind, was a familiar one.

“What are you doing?? That’s a monster!”

“Are you gonna let this thing go?!”

“This is official government business!” the crowds hushed for a moment. “Only authorized persons are allowed to hunt these creatures!”

Murmurs, unsettled grumbling. Lag rolled to his side a bit, feeling sick but wanting to be sure. Gauche, still in his undershirt and lacking socks, stood over him. Roda moved to cover him, and Lag thought she might actually eat someone. 

“What are you gonna do?! It killed someone!”

“Yeah! It cant be allowed to go free!”

Fighting to keep his stomach down, Lag wondered if he had enough energy to fight back. The object wedged in his back was carefully removed without warning. Yelping, he fought to stay awake through the pain. 

“I'll take care of this. Go back to your business.”

000

Gauche let out a long breath, winding a bandage around Lag's upper back. Thank the Empress, that man had no sense of aim. Although, given Lag's physiology, Gauche thought it would take more than a dull knife to kill him. 

Lag...

Swallowing, Gauche reminded himself that what he was doing could, if found out, result in termination from work and a lengthy prison sentence. Still, if nothing else, Lag was still a letter. A letter marked “fragile”. This was his job.

The boy let out a weak sound, chewing anxiously at his lip. From this angle, Gauche could now clearly see the stone in his eye. A clear sign that he had missed. It cast a soft glow that could be faintly seen through his snowy locks.

“It will be over soon.” he soothed, tucking the boy into the bed. 

Lag watched him, eye hazy with pain and medicine. “Y-You're not going to...?”

Gauche paused, frowning. “No.”

Reaching down, the man began to put away the supplies. He was aware of the ever present gaze on him. As he moved to stand, a light tug on his hand caught him. Glancing over, Gauche felt his heart jump a bit. 

Lag's eye, the human one, was startlingly expressive. Confusion and fear fought just below the surface. It was no wonder people feared these creatures so much, Gauche thought. How could someone kill what looked, right then, like a frightened child?

“W-Why...?”

Mulling it over, the man wondered the same. Was it that sweet, frightened child coating that caused him so much conflict? The way Lag smiled or how soft and warm he was? He wasn’t sure. He'd always expected something much more monstrous. 

“Because you're a letter. Its my job to deliver you safely to your destination.”

Chewing his lip, Lag seemed to ponder this. It made no sense. But who was he to look a gift horse in the mouth? 

Casting his gaze down, he murmured, “I-I'm sorry...I-I didn’t mean for this to....”

Gauche ruffled his hair gently, sighing. “It puts us back a day. But it will be fine.”

If Lag was confused, he didn’t voice it. Gauche just wanted to get through the delivery. If that meant denying past events right then, that was fine to. Truthfully, Gauche still had no idea what to do. So for now, he'd deal with things as they came. 

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	8. Chapter 8

Wooooaaaah so this was a giant leap??? 8D;;; but! It'll be fun, i'm sure!

Warning: ideologically sensitive themes  
rating: T?

Hopefully its worth the wait???

0000000000

 

“bandaids”

 

Putting as much distance between the town and themselves was Gauche's number one goal right then. It was a short term solution, sure, but it was the best bet if they wanted to stay alive. Sighing, the man paused on an outcrop of stone, looking to the bright star in the distance. 

How had this happened...?

It made sense now why Anne Seeing had wanted her son to be taken away from Rengus, and it made sense now why no one wanted to go near the house. Even without proof, the villagers had been aware that something wasn’t right about the family. Maybe he should have taken that distrust to heart...

Roda barked, catching Gauche's attention. Glancing to her, he felt his stomach flip flop. Lag was having trouble climbing the steep hill, clutching his shoulder weakly. Even from up above him, Lag's heavy breathing was audible. 

“Whats wrong? Is your wound hurting you?” the man called, already on his way down to make sure his charge wasn’t dying.

Glancing up, the boy smiled weakly. “I-Its nothing...I'm sorry to slow you down.”

Gauche carefully peeled back the sticky fabric of Lag's shirt, wincing as the hot sticky blood seeped through his thick gloves. “You're bleeding. Let me see.”

Lag gulped, shifting so that the man could access the wound. No matter what they did, the wound refused to heal even minutely. While this puzzled Gauche, it was obvious to Lag why this happened. He was almost empty of heart. No heart, no healing. He'd used most of it just to stay alive after that encounter a night ago. 

As strong and thick as his armor was, it had gaps. The man who'd stabbed him had, by chance, pierced that gap. Now, unable to stop the flow of blood, Lag was forced to use up the stored heart he'd eaten to try to stay alive long enough to make it to his aunt. She'd know what to do. 

Wincing as Gauche tied a new set of bandages around him, Lag prayed he lasted that long. Sighing, he tried to stand, clenching his teeth as pain knocked him nearly on his ass. Watching the boy, Gauche frowned. They'd never get to Cambel Litus at this rate. 

“Here, get on...” the man said, turning so his back was to Lag.

Blinking owlishly, the boy nodded dumbly. He climbed onto the man's back, tightening his grip on the worn fabric of Gauche's uniform as the man stood and adjusted his hold on him carefully. He began to climb the steep hill, surprisingly without much trouble. 

The constant movement made Lag's back and chest ache, but this beat struggling on the ground. Beside them, Roda darted up the hill easily and waited at the top for them, a burst of white in the darkness. 

“Thank you...” the boy murmured, resting his forehead against the fabric of Gauche's shoulder.

Gauche didn’t reply for a moment, pausing only when they reached the crest of the hill. All around them were bright stars in the expansive night sky. All alone in the darkness, Lag felt his heart constrict, the wide open emptiness seeming to suck away his breath. 

“Its nothing. Its my job. I'll make sure you get to Cambel Litus, no matter what.”

Something about the way he'd said that, told Lag that he really meant it. It was a job, but that didn’t make the promise mean any less to the boy. No one had ever been so kind, so accepting after seeing his wretched nature, save for his mother and aunt. 

Lag could smell the heart wafting from the man, a dizzying scent. He could tell it was the heart of a warm, kind hearted person. The same scent that sent his mind buzzing when he slept or stood too near the man.

000

Lag's condition was worsening by the night. The wound no longer clotted, the boy's breathing was becoming labored and rattled in his chest. Even on Gauche's back, Lag struggled to stay conscious, much less securely situated. 

They'd stopped in a narrow little cave, partly to wait out the storm and partly because Gauche feared that the boy wouldn’t make it through the next leg of their journey. He'd set the boy on the ground, wrapped in his coat with his scarf as a pillow, but his shivering hadn’t subsided. 

Gauche was scouring the thick copy of his Gaichu manual, searching for anything to figure out how to save his little letter. The section on Lag's kind was abnormally small. But he did, however, find one solution. 

Swallowing, the man glanced at Lag. His face was beaded with sweat and he was barely conscious. Gauche could just see a sliver of hazel beneath the boy's thick lashes. A lovely sight under normal circumstances, but frightening now. He didn’t have the luxury to wait.

Gently, he shook the boy. Lag groaned, eye opening with a few dazed blinks. Glancing at the man, he fought to think past the pain and exhaustion. “W-What is it...?”

“Can you control yourself?” Gauche asked quietly.

“W-What...?” Control? What?

Swallowing, the man gathered his courage. “If I let you feed off of me. Can you control yourself?”

Food. Hunger wracked his slight frame, his entire body shrieking to him to just eat the man whole. No, Lag thought, swimming through his thoughts, no he was offering out of the goodness of his heart. Swallowing thickly, the boy considered the offer. 

He couldn’t He'd never been able to. It had lead to their current situation. But...but he didn’t want to hurt Gauche. He didn’t want to kill him.

“I-I can t-try...” he murmured, voice raspy.

That wasn’t comforting. But...what else did he have to try? Closing his eyes, Gauche rolled his sleeve up, the cotton feeling scratchy on his exposed skin suddenly. The cold bit at him, reminding him that he was offering a meal to a starving, dying creature. 

Lag took one look at the man's thick forearm and felt his stomach flip flop. Glancing to the man, suddenly hyper aware, he nodded. 

Gauche closed his eyes, not wanting to see the process. Just reading about it turned his stomach. The sounds were hard to ignore though. As the feelers emerged, Gauche felt his skin crawl. He could hear the way they snaked out of the boy's mouth, dripping with a viscous fluid that had some form of evolutionary advantage or another. 

It was almost possible to stay completely calm, until he felt the feelers wrap around his arm. They were cold, he thought, wincing as he felt the tiny teeth that lined the underside begin to saw at his skin. At first there was a sharp pain, before the area they touched became uncomfortably numb. Still, it was impossible to ignore the weight and the way the slick feelers tightened around his arm. 

Reading about something rarely was the same as experiencing it. Gauche was expecting to feel exhausted, to feel dazed and dizzy. He didn’t expect to feel the heart drain from his body. The fast paced flow as the fluid raced through his veins was more than dizzying.

Wheezing, the man felt like something was crushing his chest. Small, chilly hands grasped at his shirt and tugged at him, powerful and easily forcing him to move against his will. Opening his eyes, startled, the man felt his heart clench.

The boy who'd been a docile as a sheep earlier looked terrifying now. Blood dripped freely from Gauche's arm, much of it coating Lag's chubby cheeks. Diagrams didn’t give justice to the way the feelers poured from his wide open mouth, or how they pulsed with each suck at his heart. Gauche thought he could see the heart as it flowed through him. The crowning feature, he thought, was the unnatural glow behind Lag's snowy bangs. 

Suddenly, it felt impossible to breathe. Somewhere, distantly, Gauche could hear Roda barking loudly. Why wasn’t Lag stopping? Hadn’t he had enough yet? Fumbling with his tired and aching free hand, Gauche shook the boy. A hand easily pushed his away, pinning it. 

“L-Lag...Y-You're going to...!” he tried to call.

Words suddenly began to leave his memory. So did motor function, really. It took more energy to just keep thinking than he'd ever expended in his life, it felt like. Lag wasn’t going to stop, he thought dimly. 

He heard a sharp cry, and suddenly the feelers retracted rapidly from his arm. Panting hard, Gauche struggled to focus on the source of the cry. Roda had bitten Lag's arm, he realized distantly. The boy was startled into reality with the sudden pain, seeming to just now understand what had nearly happened.

“G-Gauche!”

Gauche had enough time to see the look of horror blossom over Lag's face, before pitching forward. Everything went black.

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	9. Chapter 9

This took ridiculously long, primarily because I didnt know how the fuck to even begin to continue. But! Its not so bad 8D;;; maybe. eh. 

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“human”

 

The world swam into view the way that sunlight filtered through deep water. At first, Gauche couldn’t put words to the world that he'd awoken in. Everything felt absent, like the words didn’t exist and neither did the memories attached to them. 

Soft hiccups and sobs met his ears, but he couldn’t find the energy to turn his head to see where they came from. A warm weight was settled against his side, soft and fluffy feeling where it touched his skin.

He blinked and the world became dark again. When next he opened his eyes, the ceiling was bright with shades of orange, the crackling of a fire soothing him into a state of wakefulness. This time, the words came to him. He could put a name to the things he saw and smelled. 

Pressing the heel of his palm to his eyes, Gauche fought to remember what happened. There was...blood. Someone was bleeding. And they were sick, they needed him. Panic began to build in his chest. Were they okay?

“Y-You're awake!” a nasal voice called, the relief nearly palpable. 

Whatever the owner of the voice had been holding, it fell to the ground with a hearty plop as the sound of frantic foot steps came closer and closer. A boy skidded to his knees to Gauche's side, small and heaving for breath, as if he'd run a mile. He was filthy. 

“Y-You're r-really okay...” the boy stammered, his eye welling up. 

A name came to mind, as did the memories attached to that name. Gauche felt his stomach turn and he might have run away, if he hadn’t noticed how exhausted and relieved the boy looked. As if he hadn’t slept a bit since he'd fed off of him.

As if just now noticing how the man was watching him, Lag swallowed thickly. “I-I brought you food! R-Roda helped me catch it, to. I-I'll cook it for you, don’t you worry! And you'll get better in no time!”

Gauche watched Lag stand and hurry back to grab whatever he'd dropped, surprised. A small part of him had expected the boy to eat him and be done. But he supposed that didn’t really fit who Lag was as a person. 

Letting his head fall back to the ground, the man wondered how long he'd been out. Must have been at least a day. Sitting up slowly, he groaned as his bones creaked and his muscles complained loudly. Sleeping on the stone seemed particularly punishing this time around. 

A soft whine caught his attention, before a tongue met his cheek. Blinking, Gauche smiled tiredly, lifting a hand to pet Roda gently. “Hey there, girl.”

Roda gave a content huff, tail wagging as she supported her front paws on his leg. She looked particularly exhausted, he noted sadly. His faithful Dingo laid in his lap, closing her eyes in contentment. She must have been a wreck when he'd passed out.

The scent of cooking meat stirred Gauche from his thoughts, turning his attention to Lag and the little fire he'd made. The boy had caught a decent sized lizard and had it cooking in the flames, the skin charring. It sent pangs of hunger through the man's stomach and he struggled to keep back the groan that accompanied it. 

Glancing over, Lag gave a weak smile. “I-It'll be done soon.”

Brushing back his bangs, Gauche eyed the sky. “How long have I been out...?”

At first, it seemed like Lag wasn’t going to answer him. Worrying his lip, the boy shrugged weakly. “A day or two?”

That was to be expected, he supposed. Sighing, Gauche turned his attention to his arm. It was wrapped neatly and blessedly numb. This, he knew was a side effect of the boy's saliva. A hybrid Gaichu wasn’t meant to strike so openly, stealth was important for survival. One couldn’t very well feed off the vulnerable if they caused pain. 

And, saliva or no, that had been hellish. It wasn’t a sensation Gauche ever wanted to experience again. It brought back the memory though, of the boy's wound. 

“Hows your wound doing...?” he questioned, debating laying back down.

Lag seemed surprised, glancing back at his stained and tattered jacket. “Oh...its healed. Y-Your Heart was just what I needed.” the boy gave a small, grateful smile.

It occurred to Gauche that maybe Lag really did appreciate the sacrifice. If a hybrid could experience anything to begin with. He still wasn’t sure what to believe. Sighed, he pushed himself to lean against the rough stone wall, closing his eyes. 

“That’s good...I wasn’t sure if that would work.”

He could feel the boy's trained on him, could sense that there was more to be said. Whatever was going on in the child's mind, he couldn’t seem to voice it. Looking back to the slowly cooking lizard, Lag let a tired smile tug at his lips. 

“I really appreciate it...I-I'm really glad you took that chance.”

The man closed his eyes, drained of energy despite just waking up. “Its nothing. You're someone's important letter, its the least I could do.”

Lag didn’t respond. He turned the lizard over in the flames, worrying his lip. Even though he'd just eaten, the boy felt hunger rise as the scent of Gauche's kind, warm heart drifted across the room. It was hard to be around him, when he was so kind. 

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	10. Chapter 10

More exposition! Hoopla! 

I cranked out the majority of these a while back and just put them out in bulk when I had the bare minimum chapter numbers, in case anyone is wondering why suddenly theres silence. I'm trash like that (snickers)

Warning: ideologically sensitive themes, vaguely hinted sexual abuse.

Onward! 

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“pulse”

 

It took an entire day to regain the strength to move more than a few steps again. In that day, Gauche had done his best to think about what to do next. Word would have gotten back to the BeeHive by now, about Lag. About him. 

On one hand, was the life of a scared child. There was no way he could kill him. Gauche had been faced with the choice countless times in the last three days, with no results. One look at Lag's hopeful face, his soft curves that reminded him of the boy's age, and Gauche couldn’t bring himself to even acknowledge that he'd considered it.

One the other, was hard labor at the least and prison at the worst. Sylvette, his little sister, would be left to her own devices. Possibly for the remainder of his life. He might never see her again.

Closing his eyes, the main chewed his lip. He couldn’t do this. There had to be something, anything that he could do to salvage this situation.

Lag, for his part, was an immense help. The boy frequently went out to find food, tended to anything Gauche couldn’t The smile he'd offer, when thanked, was heart breaking. 

The final night, in the warmth of the cave and his blankets, Gauche made his decision. It happened while sitting close to the boy, who had offered to share his blankets against the chill of the rain outside. 

Lag had been speaking, softly, when Gauche realized he'd been talking. Even as exhausted as he felt, Gauche paid special attention to the boy's gentle voice. 

“I was made in the capital.” he began, looking beyond the walls of the cave. “There were two of us, and mother. She'd been asked to help with an experiment.”

Roda laid beside them, yawning widely. Gauche pet her slowly, listening patiently. Lag had paused, gathering his thoughts. “She didn’t want to, she said. But she did it anyway. I had a sister, but I didn’t know her. Mother said that...she was the one they used the most. That most of us were because of her.”

The implications filled the man with nausea. Lag's lips twitched, like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words to. Glancing up, he let a small frown tug at his lips. “Mother took me and left, when they used up my sister. But they chased us around a lot. We were safe, happy even, in Rengus before...”

The shadows cast by the fire gave the boy's one human eye an odd glimmer. Glancing at Gauche's arm, Lag chewed his lip. “I-I was never really good at controlling it. My stomach I mean. I ruined a lot for mother...I'll ruin things for you to.” he stammered, voice catching. “Y-You should have let them...”

Gauche refused to listen at that point, pulling the boy close to his side. “I'm not going to let anyone harm you.” he said firmly, a conviction behind his words that felt misplaced. 

Blinking, the boy looked up, eye locking with Gauche's. Chewing his lip, Lag turned his gaze down. “E-Even though I hurt you?”

He's testing me, Gauche thought. “Even then.”

“W-What if I eat you? W-What if y-you never see your s-sister again?”

Using the edge of the blanket to dab away the fat tears from Lag's cheeks, Gauche said softly, “You wont. But even then, I wont let anything happen to you.”

If Lag needed a reason, he didn’t ask. A hiccup escaped his mouth, followed by a choked sob. Gauche tugged him closer, rubbing his back gently. Everything about Lag felt like a real child, he thought wearily. It drove a stake through his heart. Too much had happened to this child, before he'd been old enough to understand any of it.

He wouldn’t let anything happen to Lag. That much, regardless of the risks, was a certainty. 

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	11. Chapter 11

Short short short. Lots of short fics. But thats fine, we have a bit to go! And so i'm not too worried about keeping to drabbles for now. Soon to be more light hearted!...ish!

Inspiration: “human” by christina perri

onward!

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“perception”

 

When at last Gauche emerged from the cave, he felt like he was seeing the world for the first time. The stars seemed brighter, less like pinpricks in the sky and more like a comforting night light. Roda trotted to his side, shaking herself free of dust and dirt. Glancing down, the man felt a smile tug at his lips. 

It had been nearly a week since he'd fed Lag. His knees ached from sitting too long, his back ached from the hard ground. It felt good to leave the muggy, unpleasant cave. 

“We've lost a week of time, but the rest of the way should go more smoothly.” Gauche murmured to himself, looking at his worn out map. 

Lag stepped out of the cavern, glancing around warily. “There’s no more towns...”

No towns was a good thing, Gauche was tempted to say. But the reality was grim. Lag had to be hungry and there wasn’t any prey around for him. That left Gauche was the primary meal of the day and that wasn’t a memory he wanted to revisit. 

“Its fine. We'll move quickly.” 

000 

The world outside of his little town was as vast as the starry sky he was so used to seeing. Even with the exhausting work to keep up with Gauche through the crumbly mountain roads, Lag couldn’t help the awe he felt. 

Roda trotted ahead of them at times, her fur standing out in the dark like a lamp. Pausing at the crest of the incline he was climbing, the boy sucked in a deep breath. His shoulder throbbed with a dull pain and his stomach was turning. He was looking forward to the end of this hike. 

Gauche stopped beside him, taking a moment to catch his breath. Digging in his coat, he tugged out his map and scanned it briefly. 

“I'm kind of surprised.” he said, “We haven’t run into any Gaichu.”

Glancing over at the map, Lag chewed his lip. “Is it that strange?”

“Well...this is their territory.” Gauche explained, glancing around for the tell tale glow of the creatures.

Lag adjusted his suitcase and his backpack, glancing around as well. “Mother said they don’t like to cross our paths.” 

Glancing at the boy, the man raised an eyebrow. “That seems like a pretty useful detail.”

It wasn’t something Lag could say with 100% certainty, but it seemed to be the case. It wasn’t as if he and his mother had lived near the safety of people, Gaichu had been a very real threat. 

Itching his cheek, the boy glanced down. “I guess it is.” 

“I wonder why they avoid you.” the man mused, continuing their trek. “Do they view you as one of them or...?”

Lag shrugged, unsure of how to respond. “I think so. I don’t have any Heart of my own.”

Now that, Gauche found unlikely. For all intents and purposes, the boy was extraordinarily human-like. He was consistently his own person, the same person every day. There had to be some Heart that was purely, uniquely Lag inside his armor. 

“I think you do.” Gauche said. 

Glancing at the man oddly, the boy felt his chest constrict a bit. That familiar scent was coming from him again. Chewing his lip, he let a small smile tug at his lips. “Thank you...”

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	12. Chapter 12

Tadaaa! Mildly happy! It didn’t spike into angst quite the way I expected, thankfully. This is more happy filler than real plot. Although the end does touch on some stuff that'll come up soon.

 

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“roses”

 

They came to a shallow stream, pausing to catch their breath and eat their lunches. Lag sat on a small boulder, peering up as the shadows of some great creatures passed over them. Besides him, Gauche cast a glance at the boy, a small smile tugging at his lips.

It had been a day since they left the cave and things had been going smoothly. No Gaichu to speak of, no angry people and Lag seemed to be staving off his hunger well. The boy watched the creatures until they were gone from the sky, a weightless feeling in his chest. 

He hadn’t imagined that he could see the world and find beauty in it. Ever since he'd been released from the capital and sequestered away, the world outside of the rooms around him had seemed so far away. 

A tin of soup was pressed into his hand. Blinking, Lag took the can and smiled. Gauche returned the smile, settling down to his own can. Roda yawned lazily, trotting up to the stream to take a drink. 

“Its so peaceful.” Lag murmured, stirring his soup.

Gauche hummed in agreement, eating his food at his own pace. “We should be to the desert in another day or so.”

The thought weighed heavily in their minds. Once they reached the desert, there was no turning back. Letting go of his spoon, Lag swallowed hard. “What...what do you think will happen...?”

Pausing, Gauche felt a sigh building. “I'm honestly not sure. Word has gotten back to Yusari by now...”

Lag went back to stirring his soup, anxiety beginning to make him queasy. “If you deliver me... you'll get into a lot of trouble.”

The man's lips formed a thin line. Sighing, he glanced at Lag tiredly. “I will. But I'm not going to leave you in the middle of nowhere. Don’t worry. We'll figure this out.”

Staring into the soup, Lag worried his lip. “Right...”

Glancing at Roda, who was looking between the two in concern, Gauche searched for something to detract from the gloomy topic. “So...Tell me about yourself.”

Lag blinked owlishly, looking up from his soup. “Myself...? Like what?”

“Well...” Gauche itched his cheek, “like, what do you like to do? What was your home like?”

Lag blinked, tilting his head. “Ah...um...my home was mostly helping my mother with her sewing business. We traveled to the town next to us a lot.”

Sewing? Well, he had noticed a lot of ornate pieces of decorative cloth around the house. “That seems interesting.”

A nervous laugh escaped the boy. “Its not, really. I read a lot, I guess. I wasn’t really allowed out on my own.”

Probably to protect the citizens, more than Lag. Gauche nodded, piecing together the boy's life. A shut in. That explained why he was so fascinated by the world around him still. Taking a sip of his soup, Lag felt nausea race through him immediately. 

Setting the can aside, the boy asked, “What about you? Whats your home like?”

That was easy enough to answer, Gauche mused. “Quiet. I live in Yusari with my little sister.” setting his can aside, he tugged his wallet from his breast pocket, opening it up and tugging out a worn photograph. The girl in the picture was small, delicate looking with the same expressive eyes as himself, Lag mused. She was like a little doll. 

“She's really cute.” Lag said, smiling. 

Gauche returned the easy smile, tucking the photo and wallet away. “She is. She's a crybaby though, like you.”

The boy pouted, puffing out his cheeks. “Am not.”

“Right.” the man said, snickering. 

Huffing, the boy noticed the lack of an inclusion of parents. Perhaps they were orphans? It certainly seemed that way. Gauche returned to his soup, humming a bit in thought. “We don’t have parents. Our mother died during childbirth and I don’t really remember anything about her.”

That was tragic, Lag thought. A frown tugged at his lips. “That’s really sad...”

Gauche shrugged a bit. “Its fine. It was a long time ago.”

“I cant imagine life without my mother.” Lag said, leaning back to look at the sea of stars above them. “I wouldn’t know what to do without her.”

Watching him for a moment, the man had the distinct feeling that Lag would soon learn what it was like to live without a mother. Looking into his own soup, Gauche felt his heart ache a bit. Now that was tragic. Alone in the world, and such a unique creature on top of it. 

000 

Lag was growing weary. Gauche could see the way the boy held his stomach, how weak he was no matter how often they stopped to rest. Roda trotted beside the boy, worried and making sure he didn’t collapse. 

It struck Gauche that Lag was probably hungry. It had been a week almost since he'd last eaten. The soup they ate had the impact of feeding bread to a bird. It filled him up, but it didn’t provide what he needed. 

Swallowing, the man wondered if there was a way to feed the boy. The Gaichu manual he carried didn’t explain much, but there was no word about eating animals. If that were an option, surely Lag would have just eaten a lizard by now. 

They sat down to rest at the crest of a hill, the view of the desert before them a beautiful one had either been looking. Lag dropped his suitcase and rucksack heavily, nearly collapsing to the ground. His breathing was labored, not a comforting sign.

Kneeling beside the boy, Gauche frowned. “Are you alright?”

Lag cast a glance to the man, smiling tiredly. “I-I'm alright.”

From this angle, he could see the soft glow of the boy's amber eye. According to the book, it pulsated most strongly before the hybrids would begin to turn fully into Gaichu. The thought was even less comforting than the sweaty boy's harsh breathing.

Swallowing back his discomfort, he willed himself to speak. “Are...you hungry?”

The way the boy's eye flashed told him enough. Lag looked away quickly, chewing his lip hard. “I-I cant do that to you again. I'll be fine.”

A shudder ran down the man's back. If possible, Gauche would love to never repeat that memory. But Lag wasn’t as strong willed as he tried to be. Hunger would overwhelm him if they waited. 

Sighing, the man shrugged off his jacket and rolled up his sleeve. Lag watched him in muted dread, understanding what was going to happen. Gauche presented the arm to him, still covered in scabs from the last time the boy ate. 

“Go ahead.”

Looking between Gauche and his arm, tears sprung to the boy's eye. “B-But...W-What if I...?”

“You wont.” Gauche replied, offering a small smile. Even if he didn’t feel at all safe or comfortable, he needed Lag to survive. And if this was how it had to be, he wouldn’t run from it. 

Swallowing hard, the boy felt his chest ache. That familiar scent was coming from the man again. He didn’t want to admit how much his heart beat when he smelled it, or how much his heart sang that this man trusted him not once, but twice to be strong enough to stop. 

Nodding weakly, the boy murmured, “O-Okay...”

Gauche closed his eyes, waiting for the familiar sounds of feelers emerging. Surprisingly enough, this time wasn’t nearly as awful. Lag was careful, clearly aware and in control of his facilities. 

More than that, there was a warm and comforting feeling welling up inside of him as Lag drank. He couldn’t describe it. Only that it was like a warm hug or a thick blanket on a cold night. 

When he opened his eyes again, Lag was sitting back on his heels. He wore a look of contentment, peaceful as if he'd just woken from a long nap. Even as his lips dripped with bloody saliva, he looked rather beautiful. 

Snapping from his daze, the boy began to carefully clean the man's arm. He had a dazed look, as if he wasn’t really seeing Gauche. When the wound was clean, he brought the limb to his mouth and gave the patches of torn skin a long lick. 

A shiver ran up his spine. Eying Lag oddly, the boy glanced up, cheeks red. “T-To numb it. It'll hurt otherwise.” he mumbled.

Gauche nodded, having trouble seeing what the boy was doing. His memories remained intact, miraculously enough, but his eye sight and motor skills seemed to have taken the fall this time. Once he was patched up, they sat for a long moment. Aside from how weak his legs felt, Gauche was relieved to note that he didn’t feel at all as bad as he had the first time. 

“Full?” he asked, reaching for his bag to dig for something to eat quickly.

Lag nodded, not meeting his eyes. “Y-Yeah.”

Finding an apple, the man took a bite. He could already feel the life returning to his exhausted body. Sighing, he leaned back a bit. “That wasn’t so bad, this time...”

The boy offered a nervous laugh, fidgeting with his sleeve. “I'm glad.”

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	13. Chapter 13

Pure madness. Thats what this is. Just adorable stupid fluff interspersed with plot and climax stuff. But hopefully it'll be good?

Warning: mild ooc, fluff, a kiss? Ish?  
Disclaimer: I won nothing D:

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“sunshine”

 

That night, they camped out on the crest of the hill that overlooked the desert. In the dim light of the stars and the fire, Lag watched the white sand twinkle like gems. They were nearly complete with their journey, he thought. 

Gauche turned the lizards they'd caught, watching the flames lick at the charring skin. A weight settled in his chest, a reminder that tomorrow they'd need to make a decision. One he'd already made, long ago.

Glancing between the lizards and Gauche, Lag swallowed back his unease. “S-So...tomorrow, we'll be almost there...”

The man busied himself with checking their dinner. “Yeah. Tomorrow we'll have to part ways.”

A dull ache surged through the boy. He watched his new friend with a feeling of betrayal welling up. Chewing his lip, Lag looked back at the desert. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t already known this would happen. This was a good thing, he reminded himself.

“Yeah...”

They ate in silence, picking around the bones of the animal. Roda nibbled away at her dinner, sensing the melancholy saturate the small group. She gave a low whine, ears laying back. Gauche blinked, glancing over and sighing. He reached over and scratched behind her ears. 

“I guess even Roda is sad...”

Lag flicked a rib bone absently. “I wish we didn’t have to go separate ways...” 

“It isn’t like this is the last time we'll see one another.” Gauche said, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Looking back to the man, Lag blinked in surprise. “Really?”

His smile turned warm and wide. “Of course. You could write to me. And maybe someday we will run into each other. You're free now, there’s no telling what could happen.”

A warmth surged through the boy's chest. Swallowing back his tears, he found his own smile. “T-Thats true...” 

Gauche felt the tension ease and he finished his meal peacefully. A gust caused the fire's flames to flicker a bit and he winced a bit at the chill. Lag blinked, watching a parade of downy white drift around them. He caught one, curious. 

“Its the fluff from the flowers blooming in the desert.” Gauche explained, brushing some of the pollen from his shirt.

“It looks like snow.” Lag mused, letting the little fluff ball drift from his hand and into the darkness around them. 

The fluff meandered lazily, carving its own path even as it left the safety of its home below them. Lag wondered if he could be that strong, to let go and let what may come, come. 

000 

 

The desert spread out before them like a great shifting white ocean. Lag watched the sand shift at his feet, the grains catching in the laces of his boots. Swallowing hard, the boy felt like a rock had settled in his chest. 

Gauche stood beside him, looking over his map. Truth be told, he was just biding his time. He didn’t want to proceed with what he'd decided on. Looking down at the boy, he felt his chest ache. This felt all wrong.

“Lag...” 

The boy flinched, shoulders tensing up. He didn’t meet Gauche's eyes. “Y-Yes?”

Taking a deep breath, the man closed his eyes. This was the best option, he thought. This would save Lag, save himself. Everything would go back to the way it should be. So why did it feel completely wrong?

“This is where we part ways.” he said, as evenly as he could.

He didn’t miss the quiver that shot through the boy's body. No matter what he said, this would be difficult, Gauche thought. Lag let his head tilt down, tears welling and the bubble of despair growing in his chest. 

A hand settled on his shoulder, gentle and anchoring. Swallowing, Lag recalled their conversation the night before. This wasn’t truly a goodbye. Wiping his eye with the back of his hand, he looked up and fought through his sorrow for a smile. 

“W-We'll see each other again, right?”

A stab of guilt jolted the man at the sight of the boy's tears. “Of course, Lag.”

The boy's quivering smile didn’t fool anyone as he closed his eye, attempting to stem his tears. “T-Then...i-its okay, I'm not really sad.”

What a poor liar, Gauche thought, kneeling to wrap his arms around the quivering child. He pulled him into a tight hug, one hand gently petting the boy's head. “Its not forever.” Gauche affirmed. 

Lag tried too late to stop a sob from escaping, his tears fat and flowing steadily. Sniffling noisily, he buried his face in the man's shoulder. His sobs came unbidden, betraying just how not okay he really was with this parting, temporary or not. 

After a long few minutes, he felt like he was all cried out. Gauche pulled back, ruffling his hair gently. “I'll give you a map, so just follow it. You should be careful though, they might be looking for you in the town.”

Lag nodded dumbly, hiccuping. He scrubbed his sticky cheeks as Gauche dug in his bag for a spare map. It was outdated, but this part of the continent hadn’t changed much, so Gauche was confident that Lag would be fine. 

Only once he'd gone over the map a few times, was Gauche comfortable letting the boy go. He did it with a heavy heart and a turning stomach, watching the boy go for a long while before turning away. If he lingered, one or both of them might change their minds. 

Roda stayed for a moment longer, before following after her partner.

000 

 

Sand, Lag found, was difficult to walk on. It shifted constantly and sunk with every step. His boots did little good, as there was nothing to grip with the grooves in his shoes. Wiping a hand across his forehead, the boy peered up at the bank of stars above him. 

He'd only been walking for half an hour and already he felt lost. The map and compass he'd been given helped, but the ever shifting sands made everything look the same to him. Sighing, Lag looked back down at the map.

If he ever made it to Cambel Litus, it'd be a miracle, he mourned. A breeze startled him and he clung to the map to keep it from flying away. Cracking his eye open, he blinked, a single white fluff dancing around his head. He turned to watch it float back towards the Blue Pumpkin mountains. 

An odd feeling bloomed, like he'd been told a secret but couldn’t remember it. 

Swallowing hard, Lag felt the feeling turn heavy. Something was wrong, he thought. He wasn’t sure what told him so, but it did. 

Turning on his heel, the boy began to hurry after the distant fluff and the dark silhouette of the mountains. 

000 

 

Sighing, Gauche tried to push aside the forlorn feelings in his heart. Beside him, Roda trotted gloomily along the narrow roads. It didn’t quite feel right to travel without Lag. This was exactly why he shouldn’t have gotten so attached, he mourned. 

Still, how did someone not bond with a kid like Lag? Even if he hadn’t been inhuman, Gauche would have had trouble, he mused. 

Regardless, it was for the best. He'd just have to continue forward. Without Lag, he wondered if he'd have more trouble with Gaichu. It shouldn’t be a problem, he thought. Glancing at his map, the man thought of how to improve the records on this route. It wasn’t exactly well routed and even the type of Gaichu that resided here wasn’t listed. 

Beside him, Roda paused, ears tilting. Gauche stopped, turning to look at his Dingo. Swallowing, he felt his heart beat just a bit faster. A Gaichu already? A screech echoed into the dark, cavernous ravine he'd been walking through, a chill rushing up his spine. 

A shadow fell over him, missing the man narrowly as he bolted from his spot. Stopping some distance away, Gauche felt his stomach clench. A standard Gaichu, he thought, a Daikiri. This would be no problem. 

Hand moving for his gun, he took a steadying breath. Nothing like work to forget your troubles. 

 

000 

Lag's sides were searing, his legs already numb with exhaustion as he stumbled over the sand smoothed rocks that lead into the dark and cramped ravine he'd left just a short while ago. He wasn’t sure quite what was pushing him onward, but something told him that something very bad was about to happen. 

Pausing, the boy leaned over his knees and wheezed. Being a shut in really had its disadvantages. His vision was swimming with the effort to keep moving. Fumbling for his canteen, Lag took a long swig. 

He felt like throwing up. What was he doing? Gauche would be really upset if he showed up and nothing was wrong. Sighing, Lag wondered if he was just using this as an excuse to stick around the man. It wasn’t as if he was oblivious to how his heart beat around him, or even how terrified he was to be alone. 

Sighing, Lag wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and put away the canteen. He would just check up on him and then turn around. No harm done. 

A great tremor shook him from his thoughts, rocking the boy. Stumbling a bit, Lag felt his heart stop for a second as he sensed a great collection of Heart ahead of him. Swallowing hard, the boy stood and hurried through the ravine. 

“G-Gauche!” he cried, pushing aside his nausea and exhaustion. “I-I knew something was wrong!”

000 

Gauche drew a shaky hand over his brow, trying to slow his labored breathing. Around him lay great heaps of metal, the glow in the gems that decorated it having lost their gleam. Along the walls, massive arches of sleek metal legs kept at least a dozen more Gaichu secured to the stone. 

Why were there so many? He'd done nothing to alert this many to his presence, and his bag was mostly empty. What had prompted so many at once? 

Beside him, Roda was just as exhausted, breathing hard. He wasn’t sure how much more of these he could fight off. His vision was edged with darkness, a sign that physically, he was near his limit. Lag had eaten a lot of his Heart the other day, he mused. That was probably why he was so low still on ammo. 

A screech echoed, deafening in the enclosed ravine, and a Gaichu leaped from the wall. Sucking in a sharp breath, Gauche dove out of the way. There wasn’t much room to move around, the thing would be on him in seconds. Readying his gun, he waited for the Gaichu to charge, before firing. 

It pulsed briefly, before shattering. Gauche did his best to navigate the rain of metal. His vision was fading, his legs felt like they might give way. Breathing hard, the man scrubbed at his eye with the heel of his palm. 

No, he wasn’t going to let these things eat him. He wasn’t going to die like this.

“Gauche!!”

Startled, the man jerked his head towards the sound. His heart skipped a beat, spotting the familiar sight of his little friend amidst the crowds of Gaichu. Lag rushed around the massive beasts as if they were just scenery, his cheeks flushed and chest heaving. 

For a moment, Gauche thought he might be hallucinating. The Gaichu seemed to regard the boy as if he was just another member of their group, hardly paying him any attention. He paused before the man, leaning heavily on his knees and wheezing. Gauche watched him, heart surging with a myriad of emotions. 

“L-Lag...?” he murmured, too exhausted to muster much more. 

Peering up at the exhausted man through his lashes, Lag smiled weakly. “I-I had a feeling something bad was happening...”

So many questions swirled around his head, but the encroaching Gaichu reminded the man that they wouldn’t wait for much longer. They must have sensed something off about Lag. 

“Y-You should get out of here, while you still can.” Gauche said, taking the moment to lean against the uneven wall.

Lag bit his lip, a frown forming. “Your Heart is so low...”

“Lag-”

“I'll help you.” The boy said firmly, balling his fists. “I can help!”

Gauche opened his mouth to speak, before snapping it shut as a screech sounded off. The Gaichu had grown tired of waiting it seemed, storming over their way. Lag swallowed hard, looking at the hulking creature. He could do this.

“I-If you need more Heart, I'll get you some!” he called.

Gauche grabbed the boy and pulled them out of the way of the Gaichu's path. “How?”

Lag wasn’t sure exactly. He could sense the vast pockets of drifting, forgotten Heart all around them, still pouring from the remains of the Gaichu Gauche had shot down. If he could just find a way to share that swell of Heart...

The creature turned to face them, and at once, Lag remembered how Gauche had fed Lag. There was no real guarantee, but Lag thought it was the best chance they had. Focusing on pulling that excess Heart into himself, the boy took a deep breath. He gathered it up, condensed it, and pushed it upward.

Turning in Gauche's hold, the boy took the man's face in his hands. Confused, Gauche looked at him oddly, momentarily forgetting the Gaichu. “Lag...?”

Lag's one eye flickered, snowy locks of hair billowing up and around a plume of shimmering Heart that poured from his amber eye. In a swift, clumsy movement, he pressed his lips hard to the man's. Gauche let out a sound of shock, which Lag used to his advantage. 

Gauche almost gagged as he felt a bundle of feelers push into his mouth, attaching themselves to him. What the hell...? A warm flood of Heart surged through him. Surprised, the man realized that Lag was channeling the Heart around them into himself. 

A screech startled them, and the feelers left as fast as they'd came. Gauche lifted his gun, the Gaichu already upon them, before firing. As the creature pulsed, he grabbed Lag and bolted, narrowly avoiding the shower of armor. 

Lag yelped as they stopped short, dangling like a doll in Gauche's arms. His cheeks were beet red, heart drumming with a mixture of terror and exhilaration. The man stood tall, exhaustion ebbing away as the excess of Heart surged through him. 

The thought that they could survive this swelled in his chest as Gauche spotted Roda climbing through the heaps of armor to stand beside him.

0000000000  
whats that I hear? “colo you didn’t need to force in the kissing thing. Lag could literally have put his feelers anywhere else! You did that purely for the romance you trash heap!” why yes. Yes I did~ I regret nothing.


	14. Chapter 14

Tada! A small victory, getting this stupid chapter done at all. But thankfully it was finished! Its a summerween miracle~

warnings: kissing...? not much this time around.  
Inspiration: “ocean of stars” amv by sunberriyu, “crave you” by flight facilities, “honey and the moon” by redemptions son.

Onward we go! One more chapter left!

0000000000

 

“seconds”

 

With a great echoing clang, the last Gaichu exploded and fell into a heap of scrap metal. The beautiful jewels in its armor glittered in the haunting glow of billowing Heart pouring out from the remains. Lag let himself fall to his bottom on the smashed up mountain pass, eye hazy with exhaustion. Beside him, Gauche breathed a ragged sigh of relief and lowered his gun.

Finally, it was over.

“I-I thought they'd never end...” Lag murmured, the glow slowly fading from his amber.

Gauche responded by sitting down heavily next to him, looking like he might fall asleep right where he was. The boy let out a watery laugh, slumping against him. They'd gotten lucky. And more than likely, there were far more Gaichu hovering around the path behind them. 

But while the victory was bittersweet, it still filled Lag's stomach with a giddy fizzing. They'd worked hard and could take a well deserved rest now. A smile tugged at the boy's lips. And, despite the awful battle, he'd gotten to experience a kiss.

It was as warm and wonderful as he'd imagined it would be. A warmth bubbled in Lag's chest and he couldn’t help the giggle that caught on each bubble of happiness and expanded rapidly. Gauche glanced at him, blinking.

“You alright, Lag?” he asked.

Even with the pain it caused him to laugh, the boy beamed up at him. “Couldn’t be better!”

Smiling a bit, Gauche let himself laugh a bit, leaning back on his hands. Looking up at the sky, where the plumes of glittering Heart drifted freely still, he felt his entire being seem to relax. He'd been done for, if it hadn’t been for the boy next to him. 

“You really came through.” The man said, voice soft and rasping. 

Looking to his friend, Lag's cheeks burned. “I-I didn’t do anything, not really...” he stammered.

Gauche aimed a look of exasperation at the boy, but decided against speaking. He was exhausted. Sighing, he hefted himself up and off the cold ground. Offering a hand to Lag, the man smiled a bit as he hefted the boy to his feet.

At Lag's questioning gaze, he gestured towards the desert. “Lets find a better place to make camp.” 

Nodding, the boy brushed himself off lightly. Beside him, Roda got to her feet tiredly, making her way down the maw that once was a smooth mountain pass. Following after her, the boy counted his blessings. 

As they passed the massive hunks of polished armor, Lag couldn’t help but stare up at them in awe. Distantly, he wondered if his own armor looked like that. Shimmering like an oil slick, studded with vibrant gems. He'd like to think it did. Lag wanted to believe the inhuman parts of him could be that beautiful as well. 

000 

The ring of stones they'd camped at the night before had been smashed to pieces by the miniature army of Gaichu, as it happened. Continuing down the pass, they came to a bluff overlooking the desert below. 

Setting down his bag, Gauche sat heavily and leaned against a sand smoothed boulder. The massive stones formed a protective ring, shielding the small group from the chilly wind that swept down and out of the mountains behind them. Roda trotted to him, turning once and flopping into his lap tiredly. 

Smiling a bit, Gauche pet her gently. She'd worked hard, he mused, threading his fingers through her dusty fur. When they got back to Central, he'd be sure to give her a bath. 

What should have taken a week, ended up taking nearly three. This had been, in all of Gauche's years, the strangest delivery he'd ever undertaken. 

A shuffling to his side told him that Lag had dropped his own bag. Turning to look at the boy, a ache tugged at his chest. Lag sat heavily next to him, leaning all of his weight against him and letting out a long sigh. “Its been so long since I could sit down...”

Smiling faintly, Gauche ruffled the boy's hair gently. “You can now. I don’t think we're going anywhere until tomorrow night.” 

Thank the Empress for that, Lag thought happily. He didn’t think either of them could really move much right then. 

As Gauche began to set up the camp, the smile on the boy's face fell slightly. This would be their last night together. Tomorrow, he'd trek alone across the desert and try to make a home in Cambel Litus. 

Mother must be so worried, Lag realized, guilt settling in his belly. The trip was only supposed to take a week, tops. Due to his own wretched nature, however, they were nearly two weeks late. The severity of the situation and the weight of all that had happened settled heavily on his shoulders. 

To think, that all of the years alone and in a dark cell or a rickety house had lead up to such a journey. All of the pain and the hardship had lead him to the man beside him, who was currently fighting with his tools as he attempted to make a fire. 

Smile returning, Lag couldn’t stop the bubbling of affection as he watched Gauche fumble about. He'd lead the boy out of the darkness and into a world that was as beautiful and wide open as it was terrifying and dark.

“Is something on my face...?”

Blinking out of his daze, Lag realized the man in question was looking at him oddly. “O-Oh uh... no.” 

Raising an eyebrow, Gauche eyed him skeptically. “What are you thinking about so hard?”

Shrugging, the boy chuckled anxiously. “I-Its nothing. I was just...thinking about how lucky I am.”

“Lucky?” the Bee repeated, blinking.

Turning his gaze to the sky, Lag took his time trying to gather the right words. “Before now... I'd never thought I could go on a journey. Or make such a good friend, or be accepted for...” he trailed off, biting his lip. 

Expression softening, the man understood immediately. “It must have been hard on you.”

Lag smiled faintly, keeping his eye on the sea of stars above them. “It was. But its been amazing, to.”

“Amazing isn’t the word I'd choose.” Gauche said, turning back to the meager fire pit he was attempting to assemble and light. “But it has been incredible.”

Seeing an entire new side of the world, the government that he worked under, was something that Gauche didn’t think would ever leave him. The tale of Lag and his mother would probably go on haunting him well into his golden years, if he were so lucky to survive that long.

Chewing his lip, the boy thought about his journey tomorrow. It would be at least a days walk, if he didn’t get lost. And given his first excursion, Lag didn’t think he'd make it under the estimated time of arrival. But if he did make it, he'd be reunited with his aunt and soon after, his mother. That alone was enough fuel to make his legs carry him onward. Probably. 

Still...

“Its going to be strange, living in Cambel.” Lag murmured, brows knitting slightly. “All those people...I wonder if I can actually do it.”

Gauche smiled in relief as the fire burst into life, illuminating their little ring of stones. Glancing to his friend, his smile warmed. “I'm sure you'll do fine. You'll have your aunt and mother. And soon enough, you'll probably have friends to.”

Lag wasn’t so sure. “You think so...?”

“I know so.” Gauche said, leaning back against the stone. He dug in his bag and tugged out a can of soup. Lag was thankful he didn’t offer one to him as well. “You've grown a lot. I'm sure you'll be fine.”

A faint smile tugged at the boy's lips as he nodded a bit. “I guess so.”

He'd like to think that anyway. If Gauche thought that, then Lag was certain it was true. They lapsed into silence as the man heated his can of soup, content with the world. It had been a long time, Lag thought, since silence could feel truly comfortable. 

A thought struck him then, that this didn’t need to end. They didn’t have to separate for good, Lag thought. A warm airy feeling filled his chest and he swallowed hard. “G-Gauche, could I ask a favor...?” 

Pausing in his attempts to cut open his can of soup, the man blinked and glanced to him. “Sure, what is it?”

Taking a deep breath, Lag counted for a few beats. When he felt like he was ready, he asked, “Could I write to you after this...?”

Blinking owlishly, Gauche nodded. “Of course. Let me just get out something to write my address on...”

As the man hastily set down his can opener and can, Roda perked up her ears and watched curiously. Displaced with the movement, she sat up sleepily and yawned. In a few moments, Gauche had hastily scribbled out an address on some yellowing paper and was offering it to Lag as if it were something he'd worked on for hours. 

“Here.” he said, expression oddly determined. 

It was Lag's turn to blink owlishly, taking the paper and looking down at it. The name made no sense to him, a collection of letters and numbers that seemed to clutter the paper. A smile tugged at his lips, small and gleeful. 

Looking up, eye shining with happiness, he said, “Thank you!”

Returning the smile, Gauche reached out to ruffle the boy's hair. “Its nothing. But could I have a favor in return, as well?”

Blinking, Lag nodded dumbly. “Of course!”

Snickering at the boy's enthusiasm, Gauche returned to attempting to open his can. He thought for a moment, gathering his thoughts together, before deciding on what exactly he wanted to ask. “What... was that, earlier?” at Lag's blank, confused smile, Gauche elaborated. “With your...feelers.” 

A beat passed. 

“Oh.” Lag said, face turning beet red. Looking away quickly, as if to salvage his pride, he stammered, “I-I was just...channeling the surrounding Heart. I've never done it before.”

The man thought for a moment more, before asking, “Could you have done that without a kiss?”

If Lag had had that disgusting soup, he could have at least pretended he was choking on that and not his own spit. Wheezing, the boy felt like he might be about to die. “I-I...u-um...!”

Taking in the mortified boy's expression, Gauche reached a conclusion. He patted his back and tried his best not to let his own feelings show on his face. As Lag recovered, they settled back into an awkward silence. 

After making sure that Lag wouldn’t asphyxiate, the man returned to fumbling with his can of soup. With some difficulty, Gauche succeeded in opening the offending can and fished for a spoon in his bag. For a long few moments, Lag couldn’t find the will to speak, the previous question looming over him like a curtain of rain. 

Of course, he'd have been able to channel that Heart into the man in any other part of his body. Truthfully, Lag wasn’t 100% sure why he'd chosen to kiss him of all things. It definitely wasn’t a method that had many upsides in battle. As much as his own behavior sometimes confused Lag, he wished others could at least give him insight into it. 

Regardless of motive, however, Lag had loved every second of it. And maybe, that was all it really came down to. Love. Swallowing hard, the boy felt his cheeks burn up. All of the Heart in his body was jumping around anxiously, like a cage of butterflies ready to burst open. 

Was it really alright to feel something like that...? Could he feel something like love? 

Glancing from the corner of his eye at Gauche, Lag felt his heart jump. Well. It couldn’t be impossible, he decided. Even if he was a monster, even he could feel things like love. Probably. 

“Lag, are you alright?” 

Blinking fast, the boy started. “E-Eh?” 

Turning to look at the man, Lag felt his heart lodge in his throat. He was watching the boy with concern. “You look like you're about to burst apart...”

Taking a deep breath and holding it, Lag willed himself to relax. If too much Heart cried out inside of him, who knew what could happen. Just because he was his own person, didn’t mean he fully knew how his armor worked. “I-I'm alright.”

Gauche didn’t look at all convinced. “Are you sure?”

Nodding, the boy smiled weakly. “I-I am. Just...t-thinking too much.”

Stirring his half eaten soup idly, Gauche focused his attention on the boy. “What about?”

All at once, the even paced breaths Lag had been taking whooshed out of him in a gust of, “About the kiss.”

There was a lull in the conversation and Lag immediately wished he could gather up the words again. Gauche was looking at him with a dumbfounded expression, as if he hadn’t expected that at all. Lag hadn’t either. He'd meant to say something like, leaving or about his powers. Instead, the question had sent a surge through his stored up Heart and the words had escaped him without any warning. 

God, what was wrong with him...?

“I...was to.” Gauche said, cheeks dusted a faint rose red. 

Lag's brain did a double take. As the boy gaped, Gauche itched his cheek, glancing up to the sky. He wished it would just do all the talking for him, sometimes. “Well...I suppose I just...couldn’t really help it.”

It took a moment for the words to catch up to his speeding thoughts. Sucking in a sharp breath, the boy's face burned darker. He watched the man for a few moments longer, before managing to move his stiff jaw. 

Lag opened his mouth and then clamped it shut again. This carried on for a few moments, before he stammered out a, “W-We could d-do it again, i-if you wanted.”

Why did his mouth keep moving without his permission? He thought in horror. 

Gauche turned his attention back on Lag, blinking owlishly a few times. He watched the boy for a few long seconds, before nodding dumbly. “S-Sure.”

The wind blew gently, sending a chill over the boy. Brushing the hair from his eye, Lag blinked a few times. A cottony pollen seed drifted between them, dancing off and into the valley of sand below them. Lag watched it go as if in a dream. 

He'd learned in the last few days, that when the fluff from the Chipa flowers crossed his path, to trust his instincts. That was fine, he thought dreamily, he didn’t need to be told twice. 

Looking back to the man, Lag noticed that Gauche was watching the fluff in much the same way as Lag had been. Smiling faintly, the boy leaned his weight on his hand and reached for Gauche's worn uniform jacket with the other. 

Blinking, the man looked down at him and made to speak, before cutting himself off. From this angle, his little former letter looked almost angelic. Cheeks rosy, expression a mixture of determination and dreamy, it was a wonder his heart didn’t burst out of his chest. Swallowing back his doubts and concerns, Gauche tilted his head down a bit.

In a clumsy movement, Lag knelt up fully and pressed their lips together. It was awkward and at first, he'd only gotten a mouthful of the man's upper lip. Bringing a hand up to Lag's cheek, Gauche adjusted the angle of the boy's face. 

He tasted like dirt, blood and gross soup, but it was possibly the nicest combination Lag had ever had before. Later, he'd probably wonder what was wrong with him to think something like that. But right then, he just wanted to keep tasting it. Wrapping his arms around the man's neck clumsily, Lag pressed himself closer. 

Lag was slight and warm, Gauche mused, wrapping an arm around his waist to steady the boy. They pulled apart as the boy lost his balance in his enthusiastic attempt to get closer. At first, the snowy haired boy attempted to follow his lips, before coming back to reality. Opening his eye, Lag blinked dazedly. 

“D-Did I do something...?” he asked, breathless.

It was like getting punched in the gut, watching the boy look and sound like that. Calming himself the best he could, Gauche said, “Just lost your balance.”

Nodding lightly, the boy took his time coming down from his high. It had just been a kiss, nothing deep or passionate like in the books he'd sometimes read in the past, but it had been the most intense feeling Lag had ever...well, felt. All of the Heart in his body was bouncing around excitedly, leaving him as breathless as he had been just a moment ago.

Roda watched the two curiously, ear flicking. Gauche pressed a kiss to the boy's forehead, before gesturing to his bag. “W-We should get ready for bed. We have an early start tomorrow.”

Lag nodded dumbly, loosening the grip he had on the back of Gauche's jacket. He watched as the man began to clumsily make a space for them to sleep, using his coat as a pillow and tugging out the thick blankets. 

After finishing his soup and putting out the fire, they laid down. Lag took full advantage of Gauche, tucking his head under the man's chin. Roda sleepily stretched out over the two, yawning wide. They formed a comfortable pile of warm bodies and Lag found he didn’t even mind the hard ground beneath the blanket. 

Above them, the stars stretched out like a current of dazzling fish. Just yesterday, it had felt so wide and he had felt so small. Tonight, it felt like he could reach up and run his fingers through the ocean above them. 

As Lag drifted off to sleep, he felt for the first time in his life as if tomorrow might be the start of something beautiful and grand. 

0000000000

WHOO! It only took like 5 drafts and 8 scripts (its not that easy to make up dialogue okay) but finally! A final draft I can comfortably say I like! Thank god...i had so much I wanted to get out and not nearly enough skill to do so but hopefully this isn’t so bad...


	15. B15 Echoes

(weeping loudly, doesnt wanna stop)

s-so this is the last chapter. But...that said, its open ended, because i'd like to make a sequel maybe someday. So i'm leaving some things mysterious for now.

Warnings: possibly ooc?   
Inspiration: “please mr postman” by the marvelettes, “wicked little town reprise” from hedwig and the angry inch.

Well....here it goes.

000000000

 

“echoes”

 

They say that when a pebble is dropped in the water, the resulting ripples can be felt far from the epicenter. With more confidence than he could express, Lag believed that Gauche was the pebble in the river that was his life. Shaking Lag from the fear that his life would always be chaos and misery, teaching him control, showing him that there was more inside of the boy than stolen Heart and death.

Proof that, above all else, Lag was a person and not a monster. That he could be something. 

000 

A clock chimed loudly from the center of the town, alerting the citizens that it was early morning. Time to rise and shine and get a move on. From his window overlooking the main street, Lag could see the bustle of people as they made their way to work. For some, it was a trek home after a night of drunken revelry. 

Cambel Litus was a self contained city, chilly from the ocean it opened onto. Yet, as Lag had learned over the last year, there was a warmth that he couldn’t begin to describe in the citizens. At the bottom of the country, the port town was all alone. All they had was each other

It was a familiar warmth that reminded the boy of his dear friend. That over abundance of kindness called out to him at a molecular level. It was a wonder he'd managed to survive at all, with how his own Heart cried out within these walls.

He was going to miss it.

A knock came at his door. Turning, Lag blinked. A tall, plump woman stood in the doorway, her imposing figure blocking the view of the hall. It belied a great kindness deep inside of her. Glancing around the room, the woman sighed heavily, shoulders slumping a bit.

“It already don’t look right in here without you.” she mourned. 

Smiling faintly, Lag said, “Its not forever, auntie.”

“Its long enough. But I know I cant stop you.” Sabrina made her way to the boy, setting her hands on her hips. “This is all you're taking? You'll freeze out there.” she chided.

On the tidy bed was a suitcase packed with clothing, warm blankets and a gun. In his pocket were a wallet, a letter from Gauche and his mother's photo. Hardly enough to keep a regular human going in the unforgiving mountains and valleys outside of town, but more than enough for Lag. 

“It'll be fine, really.” the boy said, gesturing to the bag next to it. “I have more in there.”

Sabrina gave the bag half a glance, before letting out another sigh. The thought of her dear friend's child, the boy she'd grown so attached to, wandering off into the darkness of Amberground alone was unsettling at the least. 

But what could she really say to stop him? Even Sabrina was worried about Anne's disappearance and the sudden silence from the boy's pen-pal was equally troubling. How could the woman tell him not to go seek out answers when she herself wanted them?

Still... “I wish I could go with you.” 

Lag laughed a bit. “You wont be missing much...”

“Not the point.” Sabrina said, watching the boy turn to close the suitcase. As he turned back, bag slung over his shoulder and suitcase in hand, the need to keep him there felt suffocating. 

Lag gasped as he was hefted into the air in a bone crushing hug. Even with the air knocked from his lungs, he found it in him to smile and hug his aunt back, dropping the suitcase to wrap his arms around her properly. She was warm and soft, sturdy. Without the woman, Lag knew he never would have lasted without his mother or Gauche to hover over him. She'd taught him so much, helped him through so much...

“I-I'm gonna miss you, auntie...” he murmured, nuzzling her shoulder in an attempt to wipe away his tears discreetly. 

Sabrina pressed her cheek to his head and felt her own eyes welling up. “Its just for a little while. Right?”

Sniffing, Lag nodded. “Y-Yeah.” 

Only a little while...

000 

The trek through town felt doubly long this morning than it ever did before. The friends he'd managed to acquire in the year he'd spent in Cambel Litus found time to stop and bid him farewell and his aunt stopped at stalls to inquire about supplies as they passed them. 

By the time they came to the town's towering gates, Lag felt drained. Swallowing back his nerves, the boy turned to face his aunt. If he felt drained, she looked twice that, the lines in her face somehow more prominent. Smiling weakly, Lag stepped towards her and hugged her tightly. He was swallowed up immediately in an warm embrace. 

There really wasn’t much that felt as good as being hugged by a loved one. 

After what felt like eternity, Sabrina released the boy. Wiping her eye lightly, she said, “Y-You should get going... the train will leave if you stay much longer.”

Sniffing, Lag nodded clunkily. “Y-Yeah...”

The gate creaked, chains clinking noisily as it lowered to make a bridge. Stomach turning, the boy turned to watch. It felt wrong...leaving like this. Spitting in the face of everything Gauche and his mother had worked so hard for. But he couldn’t stay, knowing that something had happened. Something he caused, probably. 

Facing Sabrina again, the boy smiled weakly and waved. “T-Thank you for everything, auntie. I'll be back before you know it!”

Sabrina watched the boy as he walked backwards, his watery smile belying his desire to stay. “Its nothin', Lag. Be safe!”

“I will!” 

Before he could chicken out, the boy turned and hurried down the road. As beautiful as the trees looked as they waved in the breeze, or the stars were as they sparkled, Lag couldn’t find it in him to appreciate the beauty. 

Everything hurt and everything told the boy to turn back. Memories of stumbling to the gate exhausted a year ago came to mind and thoughts of his mother choked him. But he didn’t give in to the near suffocating urge to turn around and run home. 

He would find his mother and Gauche again. And if it hurt along the way, he deserved it twice the amount. Lag would not let his mistakes go uncorrected and he wouldn’t leave his friend to suffer. 

000000000000000

thank you all so much for reading and supporting this fic. Its meant so much, seeing kudos and reviews and watches and favs...i dont think i've ever been as happy as when I was writing this. Thank you all so much!


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